Quote hanger...

I read this quote this morning and it has been playing in my head ever since, "There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened." Thought I should look it up on Google search, and discovered that it's a quote by Mary Kay Ash, an American business woman.

Although this post originally began about this quote,(about me belonging to which type and all...) I came across several other interesting ones by Mary Kay Ash and have now lost my train of thought, just posting a few that I really like:

Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, 'Make me feel important.' Never forget this message when working with people.

Everyone wants to be appreciated, so if you appreciate someone, don't keep it a secret.

Those who are blessed with the most talent don't necessarily outperform everyone else. It's the people with follow-through who excel.

A good goal is like a strenuous exercise - it makes you stretch.

People are definitely a company's greatest asset. It doesn't make any difference whether the product is cars or cosmetics. A company is only as good as the people it keeps.

PMS... the interpreter of all maladies...

If you asked my mum what PMS means, she probably will say it means, Personal Mail Service or something similar (this is based purely on assumption and in the faith that she doesn't read my blog :D) 'cos I have never heard her use the word to describe her moods, the weather, the political situation or the economy, unlike us today who use it as a comprehensive blanket for all problems and in all situations.

Alder keeps using the word with alarming frequency to describe all of us, especially when he is at the receiving end. It has somehow become acceptable that any deviation from the 'normal' is a direct consequence of PMS. It cannot be that women today are afflicted by this particular blight and our mothers and their mothers were not.

So what do you think they took refuge under or what envelope did they hide in...

Whoever says loving is easy needs to be shot... preferably where the sun don't shine

All we hear and read and is told to us, is that loving is the easiest thing in the world and that it should come naturally since it is the most exalted of all emotion and that it makes us pure, better than we aspire to be and is a gift in itself.

Ah no... I don't think it's as simple as that (the first person to raise her very beautiful eyebrows at this post will be Anjali for sure, I've been questioned after the last post about my harping on the theme of love). Anja... you know, you and me are damn cynical about most things, love included... yet I believe that deep rooted in this cynicism is an unshakable faith and hope and trust in love and now Shut Up and let me get on with this.

Yeah... is loving easy? Is it really as simple as that... in the first throes of courtship and love, it comes easily enough, when you hold your new born in your arms and as they grow into toddler's... it's a lark... The real test is when we are 'old' in a relationship and when the kids are in their teens and growing. The similar analogy can be used in any budding relationship, at work, with friends and pets even.
When it's new, it's magical!

All those poets and writers who spoke of love being easy, obviously spoke of early days... either they stopped writing as it got older or began writing ode's to inanimate objects, or they kept falling in love over and over again, maybe with different people or maybe with the same person.

That, I think is the secret, to fall in love repeatedly, with our partners, friends and children and all of those that we have loved. Falling in love is seeing things in new light, a new perspective and with fresh eyes, like dew drops in the early morning breeze as they capture the first ray's of the rising sun in their little crystal droplets which sparkle like tiny diamonds. That feeling of warmth and unbridled joy is intoxicating and those who have experienced this mania will always remain devoted to seeking it... This love negates every flaw, overrides all handicaps and overcomes all strife, infusing new life into the relationship, splashing it with new color and embellishing it with fresh flavor.

So fall in love... 'cos every time we fall, we rise a little bit above from the ordinary, ordain ourselves with magic dust and that is real exaltation in it's truest form...

Investments...

In finance, investment is putting money into something with the expectation of gain, usually over a longer term. This may or may not be backed by research and analysis. Most or all forms of investment involve some form of risk.

All of us make investments, and I'm not talking money here. As children we invest in the dreams our parents have for us, when we find a partner we invest our future in them for being the ones who will be our anchor while being our wings and as parents we invest in our children's future.

All of these investments are of faith, hope and love. While these are the broad classifications of our relationships, there are very many other vital alliances and affinities that we develop and cherish, with people we know and even with complete strangers, some who we do not see even.

When I drive, for example I am investing my faith in the person driving ahead of me, behind and alongside and in all the people on the road, cos' one accident means road blocks/ delays and full bladders (been there, done that!)

Every day and in a myriad ways, we invest either our faith or our hope our love... unmindful of the risk... and we hope that it's the ones we love who will ensure that it is mitigated and nullified.

The Holy Bible, in 1 Corinthians, chapter 13, verse 13 says, "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love".

Love grows with faith and trust...

Just as I am... without a plea...

Is the title of a hymn.

Is also a topic on which loads of poems, odes and songs have been written and sung. This terrible need to be loved, just the way you are, faults and all, is a universal hunger. Love which isn't only of the romantic variety, be it filial or in friendships, every one of us echoes this sentiment... the yearning to be allowed to be what we are and be loved despite.

As many people as there are and as many opinions that they may evince, to me this is the toughest thing to do and is really the true test of love. Can you love without being judgemental. Be it with your parents, partners, children, friends and the many relationships we have, can we really love them without trying to mould them, modify them, mend and bend them into being what we want them to be.

Each of us has our own set criteria of what is acceptable and correct and of that which is not. Our minds are made up and anything or anyone who doesn't fit into these little squares needs to be transformed into little clones of ourselves, to be mindful of and obedient of our rules. We constantly endeavor to change the people around us while claiming undying love for them.

And that is the greatest of all fallacies...

Understand this
As I comprehend that being you is essential to you
To breathe... to grow... to live...
I will step back
Fly away into a realm where you celebrate your life
We will meet... in those in-between spaces...
When you come to me
As I surely know you will, this love will draw you
Come as you... the one who is free...
Just as I am... without a plea

( Mother- if you ever read this... please know that I'm not being blasphemous)

Lorenzo forever...

I officially became a mother on the 27th August 1995 with Amanda's birth but my heart was pulled out of me and walked away on 24 October 1992 with the birth of Lorenze Dorian, my oldest nephew.
1992 was the year I got married and my sister-in-law Zeeta was pregnant with Lorenze. As is customary in Indian families, a girl returns to her parental home during her first pregnancy, for her confinement and delivery. Zeeta came to live with her parents, my in-laws for the last 2 months of her pregnancy which were busy spent in preparing for the arrival of the first grand child of the family.

On the evening of the 24th October, Zeeta went into labor and Lorenzo was born at 9:24 pm. He was swaddled in white when the nurses brought him out of the Labor room and handed him over, first to his uncle Egbert and then to me. I'm not exaggerating, but he smelled of brown rum, his father Ludger's favorite drink!! It was the first time I held a new born in my arms and I held him gingerly but with great caution not really knowing whether I would drop him with my clumsiness or worse yet crush him with my nervous hands. Battling this fear, I peered into this little bundle with wrinkled skin and eyes that were unwilling to open since he would peer with an eye and shut it immediately as if afraid to look at the world, and I fell in love. Completely.

Lorenze spent the first 2 months of his life in the family home and it was the most heavenly time. As a young bride adjusting into the ways and culture of a new home, it was like Lorenze and me were doing the same thing, taking first baby steps into an unknown realm and I guess we bonded. As he grew, he couldn't pronounce my name and since he was a year old, he's been calling me 'Bitta', which is now fashionably shortened to 'Bits'.

Onzo, our name for him, would come to Mangalore thrice or four times a year and we would go to Bangalore as many times to be with him. Every time it was time to part, he would begin crying and I would promptly join. We have shed many a tear at bus stations, him in the bus and me on the road, him wailing 'Bitta' and me sobbing uncontrollably. That child held my heart in his hands and still does as a 20 year old young man today.

My Lorenzo is 20 years old and is a rare gem, he is completely lovable, terribly intelligent, a brilliant orator, an awful singer, a prolific bassist, an organised student pursuing his engineering studies and above all and most importantly, is the young man you wish was yours. He is gentle, kind, and an accomplished diplomat far mature than his young years. Onzo is our first child and will always be special, the beauty of being him is that he has never let us down. Has always proved our faith in him and every year he acquires better skills, is more polished and is on the way to being a complete man.

ONZO... this is for you... my life changed the minute you walked into it. I became a better person. You are everything I love and I love everything about you, including your crooked long nose that showed promise of being like mine but ended up like your dad's. You are a gift to me and our family crazy as it is, will be bound by our common love for you and you will be the strongest link that will hold us I'm sure. May the future rise up to meet you with a promise of brilliance and when success comes a calling 'cos she sure as hell will, may you be humble enough to be affable and tenacious enough to sustain.

The companion of my emptiness.

When you walked in last night
seemingly exhausted, tired and worn
Do you think I missed the twinkle in your eyes
The skip in your gait
The lilt in your voice
The joy in your stance

I watch you with eyes that pretend not to see
Maybe I fool myself too well and you fall for it I can tell
When you laugh, I hear the footprints he left on your heart
You shine, like a million glow worms have pierced your soul
Your fingertips, they whisper unknowingly along the satin of your skin
Did he carve that path you are mimicking...

Marvellous, this new romance bringing to you the flush of joy
Of forgotten embers that once warmed you as it burned me
Yes, it hurts.
I want to reach across and slap you, maim you, wound you, tear you apart
How dare you, how can you, how will you
I linger for a moment in self pity and sorrow

When at last your moment in the sun of another planet has ended
And end it will, this novelty will bore you
The treachery will tear you
Its misery awaken you
Tread stealthily my love, this heart has taken flight
As you walk back towards me, know this
I'm broken, shattered, twisted, knotted...

A mirror whose shards of glass twinkle as they pierce...
Whisper softly, tiptoe gently and be the companion of my emptiness.