Monday, September 21, 2015

Fabulous forties...


Bingo or housie housie as it’s called in Mangalore is a popular game in clubs, parties and get-together’s.

I’ve learned a lot of phrases there especially as they called out the numbers, one of which was ‘Men get naughty at four and oh’, and the crowd would go ‘Forty!’

Therefore the number 40 to me has always been associated with men becoming naughty, supposedly. No one though warned me about women in their forties.

Let me put together my personal as well as the opinions I gather from my girlfriends in their forties:

1. We are the most confident we have ever been and vocal too. Our threshold for accepting nonsense is almost nonexistent and we do not suffer fools gladly.
2. We are more aware of ourselves, of what we want and how to get there, without suffering pangs of guilt or making apologies.
3. We do not want to make new friends, are very happy with the friends we have and believe in spending as much time as we can with them. Quality over quantity.
4. We’re not in the race, we have lost a few battles, won some, gave up the others and now we know that the race doesn’t matter. Living one day at a time does.
5. We’re sexually aware and honest about our feelings. Our twenties were spent in exploration, thirties in acceptance and in our forties we have come to our own and know exactly what we want and how and we are not ashamed, rather revel in it.
6. We are done with experimenting, be it in relationships or fashion. We know what looks best on us, be it the men, the clothes, the lip color even. Irrespective of what the norms demand, we will wear what we feel best in.
7. We love the way we look and celebrate it even if we complain about the cellulite and the wrinkles. It’s the face in the mirror that matters now, when we look at ourselves and say ‘Hey Beautiful’, we need no other compliment.
8. We do not need anyone to validate our existence. Other’s opinions about us are unimportant and unnecessary, we know the path we’ve walked and we are proud of it. Have fallen into potholes and scrambled out in tatters, have climbed the peak and looked down in joy and now we know that we can rise after every fall and therefore there is no fear.
9. Our children (mine at least) are young adults and do not need the constant care like they did when young which leaves us with time. Time to do what we love doing, not what we are obligated to do. Time to pursue that old hobby, to get in touch with the self, to introspect, to breathe. To just be.
10. We are more grateful and accepting, calm and serene, absorbent and resilient. We know we are strong enough to face anything that comes our way and we know we will make it.

I must confess to loving my forties and wonder why we used to think that it was only men who transformed. While naughty is not the word I would use to describe a woman in her forties! I’d say gorgeous, beautiful and go girl… the world is at your feet, go live YOUR life. Finally.

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