Defiance... you must

Having two teenage children, defiance is a frequent visitor in our home. My teeth are a dentist's nightmare as they have lost their enamel with the amount of grinding I have been doing.

Not that defiance was invented by my brats, I've been there done that and with great relish I must say.

It's all a matter of perspective, while I was doing it, I thought meself uber cool and smart and felt so powerful.

While I'm a recipient I feel like a victim and marginalised.

Defiance though like everything else, is a weapon you should use for the right causes.

Defy failure, sickness and weakness. You must.

Posting below a mantra I chant...

INVICTUS

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

- William Ernest Henley

Alone vs. Lonely...

Ah ok! I've recieved some flak about my previous post :D

While I'm not defending myself, let me specify I was talking about being Alone and not Lonely.

They are two very different states. Lonely is described as a state of mind where as Alone may be a fact.

I'm Alone in the room right now, fact. I'm Lonely in a crowded room, it's the way your mind percieves it.

Maybe I'm not articulate enough to come up with original sentences that sum my thoughts and that is why I quote so heavily... sigh!

OSHO:

"The common psychology of man is of loneliness. He does everything to avoid it. But whatever you do, it is always there just like your shadow. You may not look at it, but you know it is there. And once in a while you cannot resist the temptation either: you will look and you will find it always there. You cannot escape from your shadow. In the same way you cannot escape from your loneliness just by creating friendships, relationships, marriages, organizations – religious, political, social. They give you a little relief, but they don’t transform anything.

The day you decide that all these efforts are failures, that your loneliness has remained untouched by all your efforts, that is a great moment of understanding. Then only one thing remains: to see whether loneliness is such a thing that you should be afraid of, or if it is just your nature. Then rather than running out and away, you close your eyes and go in. Suddenly the night is over, and a new dawn ... The loneliness transforms into aloneness.

Aloneness is your nature. You were born alone, you will die alone. And you are living alone without understanding it, without being fully aware of it. You misunderstand aloneness as loneliness; it is simply a misunderstanding. You are sufficient unto yourself."

I rest my case...

Essentially... we're all Alone

An acquaintance told me that if you do not have a Facebook account, you may as well be dead. If you do not harness social media to connect with people and sell your ideas, you may as well be doomed to a life of oblivion and obscurity from where even sewer rats may disown you.

From when has it become important for self development that we need constant approval. It's true that we human beings are not cut out to be fundamentally alone and research proves that those who lead lonely lives die earlier than others, our bodies give up on us when we do not produce happy hormones and would you believe it, there's some experiment which shows that some part of our brain can detect human connection, even if the rest of our senses cannot.

Most likely because we yearn and crave for that connection and love the recognition and the fuss. I know people who cannot be alone, at all. It's almost like they have no individual identity, as if they dont trust themselves with themselves. Fact is the sooner we accept that we are essentially alone, our lives may be more peaceful and hassle free. Why do we believe that the formula for a happy life is if we have X, Y and Z which to different people mean different things, an attentive spouse, children, a house, material posssesions, the list is endless. Yet most who have either a portion of this or most of it, still crave for other people's attention.

I'm qouting Hunter S. Thompson:

“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and -- in spite of True Romance magazines -- we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely -- at least, not all the time -- but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don't see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness."

Let's stop makin Alone a bad word and instead celebrate it, the truth is, you're looking at your best Friend.

Ain't it simple...

Sing songs with lyrics perfect
that dance a slow waltz melodious and sweet
as they skip over heartbeats
faint and strong, young and old, high and low, abundant and poor

Bring gifts to the table
of gold and platinum, diamonds that glitter
cars that streak faster than the wind
gadgets yet nascent in the busy market

Contrive the perfect holiday plan
skim on the beaches in panama
revel in the carnival in Rio
dance through the night at Summerfest

Make the right moves
the gestures that impress and acts with finesse
the roses, the perfumes, the fresh demands of haute couture
and whisper words of perfect cadence

Yet... your tangent is way off scope
your rivulets run into a stream thats dry
the micro grooves you draw, have to tell you- are on a broken vinyl record
the smile you seek is a conterfiet charlatan

I hear you wail in anguish and agony
of best laid plans... miserably awry
you toil to make the right moves
and flounder in lost confusion

What went wrong... where did you fail
how could you not make a dent
you were so sure about your toil
how can they not see the effort

The heart seeks no grand gestures
nor yearns for palaces of jewels
or baubles that others hanker
nor objects of ingenuity

A gentle touch
a smile
a soft whisper
a glance

All you need is genuine kindness, the rest is fluff.