Human nature fascinates me, my own included :P
I wonder why I say and do the things I do even when I know sometimes, for sure, deep inside of me that I'm not being true to myself (avoid the word hypocrite... as you notice!) and when it is retrospection time I want to kick myself, in the nether regions most often.
In Roman mythology, Janus is the God of beginnings and endings; birth and death. Closer to home, Hindus observe 'Sutaka' a period signifying Impurity arising (to the members of a family) through a birth in it, but understood popularly in the sense of Impurity arising through a death, similar to beginnings and endings.
So Janus, also called the two faced God since he looks to the future and to the past is rather unfortunately remembered when I digress from being honest, a state I'm struggling to minimize. This trait probably stems from my first birthday. My photograph has two of me in a single frame, albeit looking at each other!
As I do some soul searching, it's easy to see that most times fear hems me in and sometimes my ego does and other times it's a mindless habit. A very thin line this, between diplomacy and authenticity, between doing what's right and doing what's accepted, between following the herd and being yourself.
To be accepted and loved and cherished and praised is, and will be a hunger unappeased in all of us. How far would you go to ensure you had this adulation is the question. When will you decide that someone's, anyone's, everyone's opinion doesn't really matter, what you feel strongly inside of you is the real McCoy...
It's perfectly alright to have your own thoughts and act accordingly, being part of an ethinicity, religion, nationality, family even doesn't necessarily bind you to someone else's idea of the real thing, if you have one and a real strong won't-let-you-go-no-matter-what one, Go for it.
In this quest to be absolutely true to myself, above all I know I have to struggle against convention, be brave enough to accept labels and kind enough to know that people don't really mean what they say, they're afraid of losing face/ faith or petrified of a new order and this manifests in their unkindness.
And so I try zealously to undo my Janus... ness!
I wonder why I say and do the things I do even when I know sometimes, for sure, deep inside of me that I'm not being true to myself (avoid the word hypocrite... as you notice!) and when it is retrospection time I want to kick myself, in the nether regions most often.
In Roman mythology, Janus is the God of beginnings and endings; birth and death. Closer to home, Hindus observe 'Sutaka' a period signifying Impurity arising (to the members of a family) through a birth in it, but understood popularly in the sense of Impurity arising through a death, similar to beginnings and endings.
So Janus, also called the two faced God since he looks to the future and to the past is rather unfortunately remembered when I digress from being honest, a state I'm struggling to minimize. This trait probably stems from my first birthday. My photograph has two of me in a single frame, albeit looking at each other!
As I do some soul searching, it's easy to see that most times fear hems me in and sometimes my ego does and other times it's a mindless habit. A very thin line this, between diplomacy and authenticity, between doing what's right and doing what's accepted, between following the herd and being yourself.
To be accepted and loved and cherished and praised is, and will be a hunger unappeased in all of us. How far would you go to ensure you had this adulation is the question. When will you decide that someone's, anyone's, everyone's opinion doesn't really matter, what you feel strongly inside of you is the real McCoy...
It's perfectly alright to have your own thoughts and act accordingly, being part of an ethinicity, religion, nationality, family even doesn't necessarily bind you to someone else's idea of the real thing, if you have one and a real strong won't-let-you-go-no-matter-what one, Go for it.
In this quest to be absolutely true to myself, above all I know I have to struggle against convention, be brave enough to accept labels and kind enough to know that people don't really mean what they say, they're afraid of losing face/ faith or petrified of a new order and this manifests in their unkindness.
And so I try zealously to undo my Janus... ness!
