Charm...

I've always been attracted to charming people as most of us are I would guess... almost all children have an innocent charm which makes them endearing and attracts us to them, as they grow, they lose that glow to the mundane and necessary act of growing up and becoming clones of other grown ups.

Very few people retain their innocence and those who do indeed are looked upon with disdain, pity, tolerance and are objects of ridicule. It really is quite impossible to retain that innocence, life grows us up.

Does our charm depend entirely on innocence then? Of course not, the charm of innocence has its value but the charm of a personality is quite something else. One of my favorite quotes on charm is by J. M. Barrie, who said, "Charm- It's a sort of bloom on a woman. If you have it, you don't need to have anything else; and if you don't have it, it doesn't much matter what else you have."

Well, I'd like to say that charm isn't limited to women alone, its a unisex attribute, both men and women can be and are charming. We do not place much importance to being someone who is able to make another person smile or feel good about something around them, about themselves, about the world in general. How eager we are to display our intelligence with well measured words and carefully constructed sentences aimed at exhibiting our knowledge of the world around us.

I have the opportunity of meeting many accomplished and successful people in my place of work and I love to watch the by play of human nature, its cause and effects and the many role plays that people are busy indulging in. I have to admit that irrespective of a person's education, professional capacity, designation and profile, the ones who leave an impression are those who had that something special about them, that quality which made you feel good, a lasting impression that is above and beyond the trappings that surround us.

To please someone, to be delightful has no bearing on the physical appearance of a person, I will not harp on beauty, been there and done that in one of my older posts in this blog. It would be ridiculous to think that charm is the preferential and licensed property of those in possession of good looks. Anyone can have the charisma and pizzazz... or can they...

There is a parallel argument to this too... that if you are taken up by someone's charm, you are a fool and are naive, being exploited somehow by the exhibitor of that grace and magic. You are truly strong and rooted when you are not swayed by another's magnetism and appeal, you are so self contained and mature that the fringes of another's chemistry leave you unfazed and it's a spell you dont fall under. All because you are this oh-so-smart-and-intelligent person, silliness isn't your forte.

We pass through this life, in this shape and form, just once, or so it is said! How lovely it would be if we were charming, pleasant, of cheerful disposition and made a few people smile and feel good about themselves, not paying anyone lip service in a fake manner but genuinely, from the heart... I guess we would have fewer woes and more joy if we are able to fascinate others just being charming...

Irrespective of who we are.... we are all attracted by this special quality... no matter how much we digress...

“It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.”... Oscar Wlde.

Odious, tedious or charming warming.... a no brainer huh!

Mangalore Chronicles 2...

I recieved this message from my cousin Hannah today, and said out each of these words and expressions loud, in total delight and as 'Kaaaat-ly' as I could and am thrilled to bits...

Have to share this with my Mangalorean friends and non Mangy's too...


1) Irrespective of whether you are 15 or 50 years old, your parents will always refer to u as their baale.
2) Nobody knows why Kapu is written as Kaup and Vittla as Vittal in English.
3) Danembe is our version of Wassup.
4) You may forget your friend's name, but never his father's name.
5) Private bus drivers are qualified F1 drivers.
6) No matter how much we eat, we always have space for Paayasa.
7) 90% score is below average.
8) Out of 7 days in a week, you will eat dosa for 3 days in breakfast
9) CET is bigger than AIEEE and hence you have to crack CET.
10) SAAV is the most common word in the tulu language.
11) If you are a Bunt, you are known as Shetty even though your surname is Rai, Alva, Hegde.
12) Every street has 10 Engineers and 5 Doctors.
13) Outside Mangalore, everyone says, 'I am from Mangalore', even though they belong to Puttur, Udupi or Kasargod.
14) If you can drive on Mangalore's roads, you can drive anywhere.
15) Ammer police-aa? is a famous dialogue, used by all.
16) Saav ninna is a valid comeback in almost every argument.
17) When somebodys marriage is fixed, the first question asked is - madime vol? Sanghaniketan Hall, TV Raman Pai Hall ijja TMA Pai Hall>
18) Everyone either studies in St. Aloysius or has a friend who studied in St Aloysius.
19) Bevarsi is not an abusive word. Its the tulu version for MC BC.
20) Rampa jokes are more popular than sardar jokes
21) Every love story begins with - Aal ninan toovondu ullaal ya, and ends with - Alna saav ya.
22) Mescom is always called KEB till date.
23) Reaction of every student coming out of exam hall is - <b>Yenchi thigalda katta paper ya saav.
24) No banquet is complete without curd rice for vegetarians and kori rotti for non vegetarians.
25) All cars in the family will have the same registration number - for generations. If not - RTO daayen darpuga maga.

Glossary of terms -

Baale- baby
Kapu/ Kaup- name of a place
Vittla/ Vittal - name of a place
Danembe - What man/ Wassup
Paayasa- a dessert made with coconut milk, rice, lentils and jaggery, similar to kheer\
CET- CET are common entrance tests mainly for state level engineering and medical entrance exams
AIEEE- All India Engineering Entrance Exams
Dosa- pancake
Saav- WTF/ go to hell/death
Bunt- name of a community of erstwhile nobility, feudatory and gentry from the region of Tulu Nadu
Ammer police-aa? - is your father a policeman?
Ninna - yours
Madime - marriage/ wedding
Vol - where
Ijja- or else
Bevarsi- bastard
Rampa- a much loved, eccentric hotelier from Mangalore
Aal ninan toovundu ullaal ya- She is looking at you man
Alna saav ya- her death man/ to hell with her/ she can FO
Yench- which
Thigalda katta - gut wrenching/ something that holds your heart in a vise
Kori rotti- chicken gravy with crispy rice flakes, special only to Mangalorean cuisine
RTO - RTO is an abbreviation used for Regional Transport Officer. Regional Transport Officer is licensing, registration, taxation authority of that region.
Daayen- belonging to
Darpuga- break/powder/hammer/destroy
maga- child

Bobby...

That's what I call Leo currently. Like I said before he has a new name every time I find a word that I like using.
What's in a name after all. If I was not Melita, would I not be the same me? Does my name add any value to me as a person, does it alter my personality in any way and am I better off/ worse...

Most people are very sensitive about their name. If you dont get the name right, it is a serious affront and quite unforgivable too. I consider myself a pretty chilled out person but I have to admit to being guilty of losing it when some poor bloke couldn't get my name right. It was incomprehensible why a name as simple as mine with only 3 syllables couldn't be pronounced. I was assertive, adamant and pushy untilI was satisfied that I had imprinted my name on the unfortunate soul whose native language had limited RP for sure.

As always when I mulled over the incident, I felt foolish (sigh....!!!! it's a state I'm in constantly) and wondered why I reacted as strongly as I did. Oh! And..... my name already has so many variations, Mel... Melli... M@lita... Melta... If I can be accepting of them, what is all the fuss about.

I guess its the egoistical me that reacts when my name isn't said like it should be. I believe that most unpleasant and stupid actions are driven by our need to feed our ego. It has to be that I am happy, that I made a point! That..... I was able to 'put someone in his place' and 'taught someone a lesson'.

:( what a depressing thought... who am I really.... in the grand scheme of things and in this whole wide world that holds/ houses and nurtures gazillion living things... who am I really.... to matter?

Ah..... to be Bobby.... who doesn't give a damn what he is called, he responds lovingly to anything as long as the tone is affectionate!

Now that doesn't mean you can call me Melly flew ass, no matter how sweet the sound...

I missed the bus...

I missed the bus...

Like candy bars stacked on a shelf
The gleaming buses neatly arranged
Waiting with mute impatience
Ready to flag off to predestined shores

I strolled with seeming nonchalance
Without looking to appear askance
No plan or design or providence is mine
Find myself climbing a bus that I know not goes where

She fills up in stages
Some zip in with no baggage
Others carry their load of burden
Then there are those who float aimless

As with the lethargic and slow
Content to be, exist, to live
No plan in place, nor ready for the race
Unarmed and naive, ambling along... there went me

That was the bus that did catch I
Sandy shores and verdant green
Stark desert and gleaming steel
The bus chugged hiccuping alone

Sometimes I felt the compass was in me
Other times I knew that the directions were askew
But now I know crystal clear
Truth it is... I missed the bus