Unmasked...

So I keep hearing that I am not the same person I was and have changed so much that I'm unrecognizable. Where has the old Melita gone? The 'simple', 'obedient', 'apologetic' person who was so easy and nice to be with and didn't upset the apple cart, instead was such a comfort?

Who is this new quarrelsome person who now resides in someone who looks like her but is not her. What fuels this 'arrogance' and 'pride'. Where is Melita. Who abets this ungainful ugly pursuit she has embarked on and takes her on this path of 'self destruction'.

To all of the above I have only one answer, I've stopped wearing the mask you were used to.

Watched the movie Tamasha yesterday and so loved it. What a wonderful expose' on conformity, wearing masks and the death of the soul. I sat in the theatre and let myself be completely absorbed by the depth of the plot and ofcourse the brilliant acting and the cinematography. Not a crtique of the film, pardon me.

So, back to the crux of the matter, Yes I'm selfish, if selfish means doing those little things that are fodder to the spirit. I'm self centred, if looking for happiness within myself is being self centric. I'm terribly vocal, if saying what reverberates from deep within me is so loud that I can no longer quell the din.

I love myself and refuse to suffer pangs of guilt and apologise for it.

Again, the mask is off and who you see now is the me that was once afraid. When fear walks out and love walks in, its hard to play the lute and the lyre to the rythm of the conductor. This magniloquent capella refuses to cow down. I can't fight it anymore, it's stronger than I imagined and I'm swamped in the wake of it's tide.

I sincerely apologise for all the unnecessary misunderstanding caused by my own cowardice earlier. I'm bare naked and stripped off all pretence.

Masquerade no more... it's curtain call.

Chances are...

'Chances Are' is a movie I liked very much, starring Cybil Shepherd and Robert Downey Junior...

No, this post isn't a critique of the film.

It's about chances that life throws your way.

I've always heard that life gives you one chance and you better take that chance or else you will miss the bus and with this thinking, those that indeed miss the bus believe that the door is now shut firm and there is no point in trying to prise it open 'cos it won't budge and thereby lose hope and let go of looking in that direction, what's the point anyway.

This thinking doesn't work for me, not anymore. Not after I have experienced beauty in life and the myriad wonderful experiences that I have had.

Life gives you second, third, fourth and ultimately I think, many chances. It's your perspective that doesn't allow you to see them as chances or take a blessing that comes your way.

Indeed the chances you get repeatedly may not and often are not in the same shape or form that they came your way originally. It may very well be something that is completely disconnected from the  original. How do you know then which choices to make and which door to open or which window to allow the breeze waft through.

Fact is, that life will challenge you; you may never win a medal, and not all your battles will be victorious, am sharing a few thoughts that have helped me:

1. Keep the faith and believe that tomorrow will be better

2. Mourn the loss, cry, rave/ rant... whatever works and then get it out of your system

3. Keep your ego out and accept that you goofed up but don't beat yourself

4. Introspect but don't over think and no self pity please

5. Be brave and accept the loss as a learning curve

6. Surround yourself with positive people who will boost your spirit

7. Take a break, slow down and do something you love

8. Believe that the best is yet to come

9. Know that you are stronger than you think

10. Love life, it will guide you

11. Take risks, it won't kill you

When optimism is your mainstay, Chances are... your chances will be limitless.

Fabulous forties...

Bingo or housie housie as it’s called in Mangalore is a popular game in clubs, parties and get-together’s.

I’ve learned a lot of phrases there especially as they called out the numbers, one of which was ‘Men get naughty at four and oh’, and the crowd would go ‘Forty!’

Therefore the number 40 to me has always been associated with men becoming naughty, supposedly. No one though warned me about women in their forties.

Let me put together my personal as well as the opinions I gather from my girlfriends in their forties:

1. We are the most confident we have ever been and vocal too. Our threshold for accepting nonsense is almost nonexistent and we do not suffer fools gladly.
2. We are more aware of ourselves, of what we want and how to get there, without suffering pangs of guilt or making apologies.
3. We do not want to make new friends, are very happy with the friends we have and believe in spending as much time as we can with them. Quality over quantity.
4. We’re not in the race, we have lost a few battles, won some, gave up the others and now we know that the race doesn’t matter. Living one day at a time does.
5. We’re sexually aware and honest about our feelings. Our twenties were spent in exploration, thirties in acceptance and in our forties we have come to our own and know exactly what we want and how and we are not ashamed, rather revel in it.
6. We are done with experimenting, be it in relationships or fashion. We know what looks best on us, be it the men, the clothes, the lip color even. Irrespective of what the norms demand, we will wear what we feel best in.
7. We love the way we look and celebrate it even if we complain about the cellulite and the wrinkles. It’s the face in the mirror that matters now, when we look at ourselves and say ‘Hey Beautiful’, we need no other compliment.
8. We do not need anyone to validate our existence. Other’s opinions about us are unimportant and unnecessary, we know the path we’ve walked and we are proud of it. Have fallen into potholes and scrambled out in tatters, have climbed the peak and looked down in joy and now we know that we can rise after every fall and therefore there is no fear.
9. Our children (mine at least) are young adults and do not need the constant care like they did when young which leaves us with time. Time to do what we love doing, not what we are obligated to do. Time to pursue that old hobby, to get in touch with the self, to introspect, to breathe. To just be.
10. We are more grateful and accepting, calm and serene, absorbent and resilient. We know we are strong enough to face anything that comes our way and we know we will make it.

I must confess to loving my forties and wonder why we used to think that it was only men who transformed. While naughty is not the word I would use to describe a woman in her forties! I’d say gorgeous, beautiful and go girl… the world is at your feet, go live YOUR life. Finally.

Forgiveness... your mainstay

Mahatma Gandhi said, "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong."

This has been running in my head for the past few days ever since one of my school friends announced on our group chat on Watsapp that she spent the day with female prisoners and was not sure whether it was worth her time.

Felons deserve no mercy right, it's just rewards. After all they did something that warrants punishment and why should we fret over their plight and waste our sympathy on those who deserve what they get.

When I mull over this, there's a part of me that agrees and there's this other line of thought which prompts me to believe that although they have committed a crime, we do not know the circumstances that pushed them to or how they arrived at that point form where crime seemed the only option. In a certain sense, unless one is a psychopath, crime is something one doesn't meticulously plan in the quiet of the mind. It largely is an action to a reaction or an escape route from suppression.

If we as strangers who are not directly related to the crime can't find it easy to forgive imagine the trauma of the people connected to the victims, the parents, family and friends. And yet, I know of people who reach out and forgive the perpetrator.

Forgiveness isn't something you offer only to a crime, even petty skirmishes need this absolvence. I know a lot of people and I have on occasion said it too, 'I forgive but I never forget'. It's just a line. Believe me, we want to look grand by saying I am the better person and I forgave but when you say the next part of that line you negate the gesture.

Why should we forgive, especially when we have been hurt and been through traumatic times? I think keeping a grudge is like cutting your nose to spite your face. Negative thoughts and feelings weigh us down and drag our emotions to a nadir too. It's a slippery slope, happy thoughts keep us happy and negative thoughts worsen it for us.

To let go of a grudge from deep within one's soul, to look at it with compassion and understanding and decide that it was a moment of weakness which made the person do what they did, when you tell yourself that the other person was a victim of their thinking and while they were silly but did not mean to deliberately hurt you, it's freedom.

The power of forgiveness is in liberation, most of us dont realise it but when you let go, you untie the shackles of negativity that binds you and now you breathe easy, simplify your life and just inhale postivity.

Forgive... not as a chore you are doing for someone let it rather be a gift unto yourself.

With great power comes great reponsibility... Sigh!

Spiderman immortalised this sentence although sources claim that it wasn't Ben Parker's original thought and attribute it to an anonymous writer.

Today I am made aware the full impact of this sentence. Being a team leader isn't always fun and taking tough decisions is very much part of the workplace, even if it breaks your heart to be the bearer of bad news.

It's hunky dory when the sailing is smooth and when you can play benevolence to the hilt, but when you wield the sword, ah that's when it speaks of character and strength and frankly the b*lls.

I discovered much to my consternation that while I enjoy being in the place that allows me to make decisions, when it comes to the crunch I try to shy away. And... I noticed that this is pretty much typical of how I am with everything. I vaccilate so much that even a pendulum looks steady in comparisn.

Thankfully, this time my new found strength made it easy for me and I was able to think objectively and while my heart bled my voice didn't quaver nor did my eyes do the cry me a river tune.

After which I realised how empowering it really is, taking tough decisons. It's like baptism by fire, you burn as you walk through the decision and the scars sometimes remain and linger but it also is a purgation.

My only prayer being though, that I remain touched by genuineness and that taking tough decisions should be a rite of emotional passage and not become a clinical incision, that I bleed every time I sever an important part and that I become a better person.

Tomorrow is another day...

Just heard from my friend Geet that an old neighbor died today.

This gentleman was in his sixties or may be early seventies. I met him when I moved into our apartment in Mangalore 14 years ago and he was one one of the stalwarts of the building, serving in the committee, was an active member of the church, would sing and laugh and loved life to its fullest. He enjoyed having people over and loved to sing old konkani songs, always full of bonhomie. He and his wife were like two peas in a pod, always well turned out and looked like they had a lot of fun together.

To say he doted on her would be an exaggeration because it was the truth although he never made grand declarations of love. She passed away a few years ago and Uncle Pinto as we knew him never let her go. His daughter lives in Delhi and although he did stay with them for a while promptly returned to his home soon after. He let the joy seep out of his life and slowly withered. His larger than life personality and the exuberance he exhibited waned as his eyes instead of sparkling with life, now sparkled with the pain of unshed tears.

It was like he was just passing time until today came long where he would also leave and hopefully join his beloved wife.

His passing brings a regretful sigh but I'm saddened by the thought that he just let this life disintegrate and dissolve into nothingness. Life is a gift and one we should all celebrate.

I found this post a few days ago and liked it so much that I saved it, didn't think I would use it as quickly as I am. Poignant this message and while not undermining the fact that if you find happiness in love embrace it, also serves to remind that there are other means of happiness too!

This life is too precious and beautiful and marvellous to let it slip away because you invested everything you had in one person or one relationship. The loss of your beloved is irreversible and painful, agreed. But like Scarlett O'Hara said to Rhett Butler in "Gone with the Wind", tomorrow is another day!

I believe that my tomorrows' will be better than my todays'

no matter how splendid today was

I believe I will laugh a little louder and dance a little slower

no matter how rythmic the sway today

I believe I will find joy in my tomorrow

even if I dont think I can be happier than I am now

I believe I will still smile at a baby, wink at a child and flirt with the world

even when I'm old and infirm and have no memory...

I believe in tomorrow...

An act of kindness is a gift from the doer... not a right of the reciever!

Acts of kindness are an inherent quality and they are not directed towards a single person. It is that quality that you either possess or you don't. It's a deep well that arises out of you and if you can do random acts of kindness without expecting a reward, that is reward in itself.

When we are nice to people around us, we only enhance our own souls and it allows the radiance from within to touch the world.

All of us live in our seperate realities and what binds us to another human or animal is that act of kindness, the liitle things we do, acts of love, compassion and empathy.

Each of us is capable of this and let's not limit ourselves, the more you give, the more you get. A sincere compliment, you look lovely today, I love what you are wearing, your hair looks great. A simple gesture like opening a door for someone, holding out your hand as they step off a kerb or car or even the dance floor. A smile to a stranger, a liitle wink to a child, a salute to those in uniform. Is it really that difficult.

In the Hitopadesha it is said that, "A tree does not withdraw it's shade from anyone, not even the woodcutter". How inspiring. So, the next time you say, I didn't do this for someone 'cos they didn't deserve it, think again. Your kindness has nothing to do with the person you offer it to but has everything to do with the kind of person you are.

A lesson so simple, it's an affront almost to be reminded of it...

Chaiyya Chaiyya / Don't Stop MASHUP!! - INDIA EDITION ft Sam Tsui, Shank...

Dont stop till you get enough...

I do not as a rule listen to the radio when I'm driving unless it's a Saturday where there are no RJ's and ads or post 10 pm when most channels play retro music.

Which is why I guess I miss out on what is trending currently. (this btw is an entire essay by itself, in life too)

This morning though I turned on the radio and I began dancing as I drove :D

Was intrigued by this lovely mix of MJ's "Dont stop till you get enough" and A R Rahman's "Chaiyya Chaiyya". Loved the way the sounds blend and it makes for some crazy moves.

How one gyrates while holding the steering wheel in hand and taps to the music in the other is something you need to be in the car with me to believe.

Looked it up and it's called the mash up video.

Hmnnn... interesting word mashup. My mind and soul currently mashed up in rythm and sounds even within silences and my mojo screams music!

Here's the link to the Youtube video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHA9lxVhNdo

Bug...err...

What does one do when bitten by the jitterbug copulated with swing and salsa?

One gives in, sigh!

I can't stop dancing. I hear music in my head all the time and I spend an extra 3 minutes in the loo, dancing away in front of the mirror.

Methinks I need to keep a spare set of trainers there. Slip 'em on and twist and shake.

Actually may be a fantastic way to lose weight. My battle with the bulge continues and the bulge is emerging the clear winner looks like!

Can't stop the moves as I write this....

Sway me close...

Remember my earlier post when I was the back end of the camel and had to learn to sway in rythm?

I always knew I could sway alright! What I didn't reckon for is that while my body moved, my soul would follow too!

I fell in love on Friday.

I found someone I am attracted to and whose company I can grow old with, someone whose music springs from the depths of the soul, someone who doesn't need the cadences to sway.

I found me.

The person I've become is someone I celebrate.

You know well that this blog is a confessional. it's catharsis, and a coarctate.

My posts began as an angst ridden outpouring and moved to acceptance.

Time to complete the transformation into celebration.

And hell yeah! Call me narcissistic, egocentric, a megalomaniac.

If the shoe fits...

I wear it with pride.

Singularly cellular...

Its not the things or words you say but those that you leave hanging like moss that falls off trees during monsoons that the nucleus of the atom lies in.

In every pore that screams silently there is a cell that is slowly crumbling and decaying, laying to waste its futile life.

In that infinitesmal moment when you realise that the receding photosynthesis is not just the fading sunlight but an eclipse, you know the organelle lives in vitro.

BBC documentary on Nirbhaya...

The Nirbhaya rape case was such a painful incident and it affected me more than I thought, my emotions were involved to the point where I felt violated myself. The brutality of the action was simply incomprehensible and no matter how many times I tried to imagine how they could have been so violent, I wasn't able to.

It took me a long time to stop thinking about it and when I do, it sends a chill down my spine and I'm emotional all over again.

Most of what was a latent memory has now become active again and all of the agony is revisited. So BBC makes a documentary that involves a recounting of the incident and has interviews with one of the rapists, the parents of the victim, defence lawyers, spouse and parents of the rapists and other people who had an opinion that the documentary was worth sharing.

And we are divided over whether it should be aired on BBC or not, the Indian government saying not of course and the Delhi state govt planning to sue all and sundry...

I dont get what the fuss is all about, I'm trying to... believe me.

One of the reasons cited for the ban are divulging the victim's identity. By raising such a hue and cry over it, we are somehow driving home the fact that rape is a shameful secret and we should hide it and those who have gone through it better hide themselves in a dark corner. If her parents had no problems with it, who is the govt to cry foul. I salute the girl for her courage and for the fact that her case will go down in history for evoking a response like it did among the otherwise dead Indian society. I would like to keep a picture of her as a memory. As I write this I feel a strength in me, a smile that breaks out despite the sombreness of the subject. She has inspired me.

Another reason for the ban is "India's image". The documentary is a slur on our oh-so-pure image and what will people think? Our reputation is in shreds. What will the 'foreigners' think about us?
Excuse me, but if we as a society have allowed the sick thinking as purpoted by the rapists, defence lawyers and families of the rapists, let's have the courage to face it. Only when we are aware of the ailment, can we treat it.

Honestly though, I'm stunned and terribly shaken by the thinking about women. I didn't know that so many people think rape is a reaction to an action by the woman. That it is fine and just a minor aberration that is perfectly commonplace, happens to the best of us, it's OK. Being a woman means you will at some point encounter it and you are better off being prepared for it, well because you are a woman, it's as natural as childbirth.

We are a population of 1.6 billion, last count... for sure we've raced ahead now, the scary statistic is the ratio of people with this mindset. And the wide spectrum it encompasses. Since we have to be the change we want to see, let's begin at home. Stop telling your sons not to 'cry like a girl'. Stop giving them a larger portion during a meal. Let's teach them the equality and dignity of labor. Household chores are NOT a woman's job. We women were not born with a stamp that says, made for housework. Other than periods, pregnancy, childbirth and breast feeding, our boys can do evrything our girls can.

Our shift and focus should be on not what our girls can do, but on what our boys can do.

Label me feminist if you would but I'd rather be termed a realist...

And to all my women readers, watch your words and actions... they are far more powerful than you think...

Defiance... you must

Having two teenage children, defiance is a frequent visitor in our home. My teeth are a dentist's nightmare as they have lost their enamel with the amount of grinding I have been doing.

Not that defiance was invented by my brats, I've been there done that and with great relish I must say.

It's all a matter of perspective, while I was doing it, I thought meself uber cool and smart and felt so powerful.

While I'm a recipient I feel like a victim and marginalised.

Defiance though like everything else, is a weapon you should use for the right causes.

Defy failure, sickness and weakness. You must.

Posting below a mantra I chant...

INVICTUS

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

- William Ernest Henley

Alone vs. Lonely...

Ah ok! I've recieved some flak about my previous post :D

While I'm not defending myself, let me specify I was talking about being Alone and not Lonely.

They are two very different states. Lonely is described as a state of mind where as Alone may be a fact.

I'm Alone in the room right now, fact. I'm Lonely in a crowded room, it's the way your mind percieves it.

Maybe I'm not articulate enough to come up with original sentences that sum my thoughts and that is why I quote so heavily... sigh!

OSHO:

"The common psychology of man is of loneliness. He does everything to avoid it. But whatever you do, it is always there just like your shadow. You may not look at it, but you know it is there. And once in a while you cannot resist the temptation either: you will look and you will find it always there. You cannot escape from your shadow. In the same way you cannot escape from your loneliness just by creating friendships, relationships, marriages, organizations – religious, political, social. They give you a little relief, but they don’t transform anything.

The day you decide that all these efforts are failures, that your loneliness has remained untouched by all your efforts, that is a great moment of understanding. Then only one thing remains: to see whether loneliness is such a thing that you should be afraid of, or if it is just your nature. Then rather than running out and away, you close your eyes and go in. Suddenly the night is over, and a new dawn ... The loneliness transforms into aloneness.

Aloneness is your nature. You were born alone, you will die alone. And you are living alone without understanding it, without being fully aware of it. You misunderstand aloneness as loneliness; it is simply a misunderstanding. You are sufficient unto yourself."

I rest my case...

Essentially... we're all Alone

An acquaintance told me that if you do not have a Facebook account, you may as well be dead. If you do not harness social media to connect with people and sell your ideas, you may as well be doomed to a life of oblivion and obscurity from where even sewer rats may disown you.

From when has it become important for self development that we need constant approval. It's true that we human beings are not cut out to be fundamentally alone and research proves that those who lead lonely lives die earlier than others, our bodies give up on us when we do not produce happy hormones and would you believe it, there's some experiment which shows that some part of our brain can detect human connection, even if the rest of our senses cannot.

Most likely because we yearn and crave for that connection and love the recognition and the fuss. I know people who cannot be alone, at all. It's almost like they have no individual identity, as if they dont trust themselves with themselves. Fact is the sooner we accept that we are essentially alone, our lives may be more peaceful and hassle free. Why do we believe that the formula for a happy life is if we have X, Y and Z which to different people mean different things, an attentive spouse, children, a house, material posssesions, the list is endless. Yet most who have either a portion of this or most of it, still crave for other people's attention.

I'm qouting Hunter S. Thompson:

“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and -- in spite of True Romance magazines -- we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely -- at least, not all the time -- but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don't see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness."

Let's stop makin Alone a bad word and instead celebrate it, the truth is, you're looking at your best Friend.

Ain't it simple...

Sing songs with lyrics perfect
that dance a slow waltz melodious and sweet
as they skip over heartbeats
faint and strong, young and old, high and low, abundant and poor

Bring gifts to the table
of gold and platinum, diamonds that glitter
cars that streak faster than the wind
gadgets yet nascent in the busy market

Contrive the perfect holiday plan
skim on the beaches in panama
revel in the carnival in Rio
dance through the night at Summerfest

Make the right moves
the gestures that impress and acts with finesse
the roses, the perfumes, the fresh demands of haute couture
and whisper words of perfect cadence

Yet... your tangent is way off scope
your rivulets run into a stream thats dry
the micro grooves you draw, have to tell you- are on a broken vinyl record
the smile you seek is a conterfiet charlatan

I hear you wail in anguish and agony
of best laid plans... miserably awry
you toil to make the right moves
and flounder in lost confusion

What went wrong... where did you fail
how could you not make a dent
you were so sure about your toil
how can they not see the effort

The heart seeks no grand gestures
nor yearns for palaces of jewels
or baubles that others hanker
nor objects of ingenuity

A gentle touch
a smile
a soft whisper
a glance

All you need is genuine kindness, the rest is fluff.

Lean... away

We're currently doing a rigorous Lean exercise at my workplace and when I look at the concepts, I think how apt and applicable it is to life as well.

In our personal lives, sometimes we fight hard to flog a dead horse, even though we are quite sure it wont do a Lazarus.

Maybe we could use 5 S principles to simplify our lives too?

SORT
STRAIGHTEN
SCRUB
STANDARDIZE
SUSTAIN

Sort - There is so much clutter in our minds, most of our malaise is a selfie, it's something we have created ourselves. If we could invest in some time for ourselves, to mull through the mess, we may be able to discard the unnecessary rather easily.

Straighten - Do we really need the things we believe we can't do without? Or the people? If we can decide which relationships need to be nurtured and which severed, we may find better direction.

Scrub - Honestly, this one is a must. How many negative thoughts pass our mind? The human spirit needs fodder to grow, and only positive thinking provides that salubrious impetus. Jettison the cynicism and shrug off that proverbial chip from the shoulder. Life is meant to be beautiful and not merely a cross to bear.

Standardize - How does one homogenize ones lives? To me it's making peace with all aspects in this journey, even those that we say we don't give a damn about. There are some relationships, specially the ones with parents and siblings if under strife that we need to make peace with. We can sermonize that it doesn't matter, who are we kidding. Let's begin with honesty. Honesty to and with oneself.


Sustain- The hardest. To sustain the above 4 S's and to sustain an interest, a resolution and a promise, above all to yourself. We need reinforcement and re-affirmation that the path we have chosen remains in focus. Maybe write post-it's and paste them or discuss with a trusted aide who will be your support system.


To quote Henry David Thoreau, " In the long run you hit only what you aim at. Therefore, though you should fail immediately, you had better aim at something high."

And while it is not as simple, your swan song could read... I tried...

FIM disease...

I need help... Have a serious case of Foot In Mouth disease.

Sigh... Does it ever happen to you that you shoot something off your gob and immediately wish you hadn't said it. I'm sure it's common with many of us but with me its a chronic condition.

The paradox being, I don't say things that need to be said to the people who it should be said to and then shoot off something to an innocent bystander, so it may seem.

Can an apology take away the hurt and the pain caused by indiscriminate spouting? From where I am standing, it is perhaps easy to say that I said sorry, now what? But to the person who has just borne the brunt of your vitriolic tongue may not be as easily healed.

What can I do then to ensure that I bite the bullet and curb the trap? Breathe more deeply, take a moment, spend time with myself, arrange my thoughts and pray hard:

Dear God, Please keep your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth. Amen.

Funny thing.... memory

Read this and liked it so much... People and events are better in memory especially if it is a pleasant one!

We store memories into little compartments and while we subconciously or by choice subdue some, we let others flourish and revel in the joy of reminiscence.

Of moments that brought happiness and those nanoseconds of bliss are in reality magnified in the memory of the event than in its actual occurence.

Similar, an unpleasant and unhappy memory. The injustices we went through are blown out of propotion in our memory and we add color and life into by including things which may not even be connected.

So here I go, close my eyes and take that walk as I find layers of happiness on the asphalt of memory...

Suspend reality for a while... doesn't hurt, walk down the happy lane.

Assumptions... the mother of all eff up's

Why is it easier for people to assume negative intent than it is to assume positive intent.

Most people I know say it's smarter if you are not trusting, always question people's motives. Why?

Whenever someone does something nice or is kind, I can't help but appreciate the thought behind the gesture. But I'm told that it isn't entirely altruistic. That there is a sinister hidden motive.

Methinks such people with warped thinking must have miserable lives. If one is to believe that everything done for you has a deeper reason, how do you let happiness through your door? Aren't you closed to every moment of magic and mystery.


Quote by Charles de Lint :

“I do believe in an everyday sort of magic -- the inexplicable connectedness we sometimes experience with places, people, works of art and the like; the eerie appropriateness of moments of synchronicity; the whispered voice, the hidden presence, when we think we're alone.”

If I didn't have a curiosity and a belief in the good in people... I may as well be dead.