The year 1992, my first Christmas as a bride and it was the peak of coffee season in the estate, which translates to "too busy to breathe".
We had been in the estate for a month and were going down to Mangalore for Christmas with the family. Anil goes off one morning to a neighboring estate and returns with a black ball of fur and says, Christmas gift. Was a beautiful moment as I was least expecting one.
In a little basket was this little black pomeranian pup with liquid eyes and he was enchanting. I used to scour the house for books and found a stash of Westerns and I loved J T Edson's books and 'Dusty Fog' was my favorite character. Add to the fact that we had just acquired a Dish Antenna and were privvy to satellite television and channels galore, we would watch M.A.S.H with a passion and movies of course. Since I was enthralled with cowboys, the movie Django appealed very much.
Without much ado, the little pup was named, Django! We had other dogs as well in the estate and Dandu was until then my favorite, but they were housed in kennels as the house was off limits to them. The thought of keeping little Django out was painful but had to be done and he was safely ensconed in warm blankets near the hearth where we cooked rice which had coal and was warm. When we went to Mangalore, Django accompanied us and would sit on my lap in the open Willy's jeep that we drove those days. Dogs apparently have only one master and give that person their unconditional love, Django gave me that. I can very confidently state that he loved none like he did me.
The journey up and down the Charmadi Ghats would take us about 4 hours and Django would accompany us when he was a pup. Those days, my father in law had 3 daschund dogs in Mangalore and Django promptly befriended them. It's another story that he fornicated with them and their offspring turned out be freakishly cute. The roost in Mangalore though was ruled by a male daschund called Calypso and he was a super intelligent and smart dog with an attitude. How Django managed to frolick with the female daschunds was a mystery since Calypso was terribly possesive. Anyways, the deed was done and Calypso was none the wiser.
1995 when Amanda was born, Django stopped accompanying us to the estate, he lived in Mangalore with my in laws. In July 1996 my beloved father in law passed away suddenly and we were left bereft, confused, an almost abandoned feeling and I left the estate to live with my mother in law in Mangalore. Somewhere during the chaotic days following my father in law's death, Django disappeared from home. We searched the surrounding areas, roads and everywhere we could think of but there was no sign of him. The grief in our home was worsened by Django going missing. I remember those days as being the saddest ever.
Time ofcourse began it's healing and the pain of losing him wasn't as fresh but everytime I thought of Django, I would be assailed with sadness and guilt. Did my neglect push him away, was he alive, if so how was he... A year passed and we had organised a memorium for my father in law. It was another emotionally charged day as we walked to his grave and offered Mass in his memory and had organised a luncheon with family and friends. We re lived the sadness and once the function was done, drove home.
Each of us in the car were struggling hard not let the tears flow and I was busy looking out of the window... and my eyes met another pair of eyes standing in a small by lane. The cars for some reason had slowed down and I looked into those eyes and the recognition was instant, I felt it deep within my heart with a certainty that was unquestionable and whispered, 'Django' and the eyes answered, by then the car had moved ahead and I screamed, "Stop, Stop Stop Stop". I was fully pregnant with Alder and everyone in the car thought I had delivered then and there, I'm sure.
Like I said it was a very emotionally draining day and I was incoherent, all I could say was "Stop". I jumped out of the car and made my way back towards the lane and I could see that a little girl was being pulled by black pomeranian who was trying to make his way onto the main road. I stood there and said "Django" and he came running towards me. All the tears I had suppressed now flowed freely, it seemed like he was crying as well. I remember kneeling in the middle of the road and sobbing my heart out and Django wouldn't let go of me either, he just stayed clasped in my embrace. I just picked him up and hugged him for dear life and took him home.
This story isn't about this, it's about the little girl I left behind. Apparently the owners of the house had a jeep as well and Django in all probability crept into it and slept there 'cos his best memories were in the jeep we commuted in while he was in the estate. A little girl of about 9 years who lived in the house found him and cared for him and he was hers to love and keep. The Django who disappeared from our home was thin but the Django who returned was well groomed and healthy. It was obvious that he had been well cared for. The little girl had lavished her love and attention on him and it showed.
I cannot begin to describe the joy at finding Django, and that too on that particular day and I walked away without sparing a glance at the little girl who nurtured him. My emotions overwhelmed every rational thought and made me blind to her feelings. Django died 3 years later in the estate he loved so much and is now a beautiful memory, especially of love but it's a double edged sword, I cannot think of him without remembering the little girl and my guilt embarasses me.
I should like to thank her, wherever she is and God Bless her for being my Django's saviour and keeping him safe for me. When I think about it, I wonder, if I wasn't so emotional would I have done it the same way? or would I have been more considerate? How would I do it if it were today, I'm older (not even going to mention the W word), would I have looked into the little girl's eyes and have her keep Django? Pendulum like, my thoughts... swaying back and forth... right and wrong... just and unjust... altruistic and uncharitable.
My Django... unchained. But my heart all chained up...
