Sunday, May 13, 2012

If today you called...


If today you called...
I'd surrender the garments of glory, to embrace the light in your eyes
That warms the forgotten recesses of my heart
And fills the caverns of my loneliness with sweet music...

If today you called...
The walls would crumble into bits of gravel
The winds would seize the curtains of my sorrow
Dissolving the years of stone and mortar...

If today you called...
I'd whisper beloved - from within the screams that reverberate
And sounds that tremble in solitude of incidence
Among whispers that engulf the valley of memories...

If today you called...
You will finally hear the words unsaid, the thoughts unread
The tears unshed and the dreams of the almost dead
In the swirls of subconcious and the whorls of the living...

If today you called...
I'd crumble and confess that you belong in the cells of my being
In the trembling of my breath, in the muted laughter
The uncelebrated rites of passage.. In the oneness of my soul...

If today you called...
I'd tell you I know; I know that I will never wear your cloak of love
Its invisibilty now stark in the darkness of revelation
Its terrible beauty a testimony to the glory of wasted lives...

If today you called...
I'd simply say nothing and let the distances grow as the longings simmer
I'd sing to you that the sun has set and the years have danced
Skipped along in exact tune the aborted foetus of our story untold...

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Say nicely for me...

When Alder was small... maybe about 2 years old, whenever something was said to him which he would percieve as impolite or rude, he would scrunch up his face and demand... 'Say nicely for me' and until it was complied to, he wouldn't budge.

What a lovely rule to apply in life... 'Say nicely'... honestly, it's such a simple rule that it seems so weird to say it aloud even. How many times have we noticed that a kind word stems, if not dispels anger and that you can really catch more flies with honey than with vinegar!

We teach our children so many skills which we hope will take them far in their careers, how to be smart, discerning, dedicated, focused and such. We teach them what we think we lack and hope that they will pick a skill set that we admire in other people. We want them to ape the best of us and climb the ladder of success early in life. We enrol them in courses which we believe will add on to their existing repertoire. I know parents who are extremely competitive and I guess successful adults are products of parents who take immense interest in and charter their childrens career paths.

Phew!!! How many times do we teach them and in how many ways that being polite, exercising control over anger and a gentle demeanour combined with sweet words... these can take us far beyond the horizons of success so percieved by the world. Some may argue that this is for the weak and only those lacking in real skills need to resort to this. In no way do I mean to take away from what I said in paragraph three, as a parent, I want the best for my children too and will play a part in their development but I guess the best gift will be when they grow up to be people who are gentle souls, caring individuals and the type who it will be pleasure to keep company with.

Say nicely for me...

Friday, May 4, 2012

The malady of relationships...

Why are some relationships so fraught with pain and agony... why is it that sometimes love just ain't enough. Why are we cynical about most things, including the comfort of relationships and yet desperate to keep them...

In a world of constant uncertainities, the steadying influence of a relationship keeps us rooted... we're caught up in this super sonic pace of getting the best of everything, of life, a model family, a great job, uber cool friends... the designer homes, cars, gadgets.. holidays... the more exotic the destination.. the higher our market value...

At some point in life, the emptiness of the so called successes we have so hankered after stares us back in the face far harder than we do when we see Pamela Anderson. We offer the least respect to relationships and yet when it's gone... we fight to keep it. To what lengths then, should we go to preserve something thats dying and on its way out. Some people seem to have this uncanny knack of saying goodbye and ending things and moving on in life.. when do you know that it's time to let things be and carry on... How long should one hold on to a painful and festering relationship...

"In a deteriorating love affair, you maybe deeply torn between the choice of holding on or letting go. If you remain indecisive, the internal conflict can depress you and even make you ill. You should make a quick determination whether to hold on by fighting or let go by retreating. Holding on unsuccessfully is like clenching your fist tighter and tighter until your knuckles turn white. Letting go is like opening your fist. It feels better, but your hand is empty." - Paul Lowney;

Isn't it the most frustrating bit of advice you have come across... What you need to hear is some definitive answer or firm guidance, cut the crap and tell me what to do... When you have been through a roller coaster of emotion figuring out should I hang on... should I let go... the last thing you need to hear about is another confused soul adding on to your angst.

But there is some good sense in the above. The best of what it says... 'the internal conflict can depress you and even make you ill'... Let go... let it go.... Take a deep breath and let it go... So easy to say.. I know. But I guess winners are those who know that they have touched the nadir and make a conscious effort to shrug it off and move on and not let their lives be colored by the cancer of a dying and painful relationship.

In all of our lives there would be though, an unbidden flash of memory that may come at the most unexpected and awkward of times... a sudden flash that may cross the brain and sear the heart..., 'should I have worked harder at keeping it...'

And yeah... you can hit me now... :D