It took me a long time to stop thinking about it and when I do, it sends a chill down my spine and I'm emotional all over again.
Most of what was a latent memory has now become active again and all of the agony is revisited. So BBC makes a documentary that involves a recounting of the incident and has interviews with one of the rapists, the parents of the victim, defence lawyers, spouse and parents of the rapists and other people who had an opinion that the documentary was worth sharing.
And we are divided over whether it should be aired on BBC or not, the Indian government saying not of course and the Delhi state govt planning to sue all and sundry...
I dont get what the fuss is all about, I'm trying to... believe me.
One of the reasons cited for the ban are divulging the victim's identity. By raising such a hue and cry over it, we are somehow driving home the fact that rape is a shameful secret and we should hide it and those who have gone through it better hide themselves in a dark corner. If her parents had no problems with it, who is the govt to cry foul. I salute the girl for her courage and for the fact that her case will go down in history for evoking a response like it did among the otherwise dead Indian society. I would like to keep a picture of her as a memory. As I write this I feel a strength in me, a smile that breaks out despite the sombreness of the subject. She has inspired me.
Another reason for the ban is "India's image". The documentary is a slur on our oh-so-pure image and what will people think? Our reputation is in shreds. What will the 'foreigners' think about us?
Excuse me, but if we as a society have allowed the sick thinking as purpoted by the rapists, defence lawyers and families of the rapists, let's have the courage to face it. Only when we are aware of the ailment, can we treat it.
Honestly though, I'm stunned and terribly shaken by the thinking about women. I didn't know that so many people think rape is a reaction to an action by the woman. That it is fine and just a minor aberration that is perfectly commonplace, happens to the best of us, it's OK. Being a woman means you will at some point encounter it and you are better off being prepared for it, well because you are a woman, it's as natural as childbirth.
We are a population of 1.6 billion, last count... for sure we've raced ahead now, the scary statistic is the ratio of people with this mindset. And the wide spectrum it encompasses. Since we have to be the change we want to see, let's begin at home. Stop telling your sons not to 'cry like a girl'. Stop giving them a larger portion during a meal. Let's teach them the equality and dignity of labor. Household chores are NOT a woman's job. We women were not born with a stamp that says, made for housework. Other than periods, pregnancy, childbirth and breast feeding, our boys can do evrything our girls can.
Our shift and focus should be on not what our girls can do, but on what our boys can do.
Label me feminist if you would but I'd rather be termed a realist...
And to all my women readers, watch your words and actions... they are far more powerful than you think...
