Unmasked...

So I keep hearing that I am not the same person I was and have changed so much that I'm unrecognizable. Where has the old Melita gone? The 'simple', 'obedient', 'apologetic' person who was so easy and nice to be with and didn't upset the apple cart, instead was such a comfort?

Who is this new quarrelsome person who now resides in someone who looks like her but is not her. What fuels this 'arrogance' and 'pride'. Where is Melita. Who abets this ungainful ugly pursuit she has embarked on and takes her on this path of 'self destruction'.

To all of the above I have only one answer, I've stopped wearing the mask you were used to.

Watched the movie Tamasha yesterday and so loved it. What a wonderful expose' on conformity, wearing masks and the death of the soul. I sat in the theatre and let myself be completely absorbed by the depth of the plot and ofcourse the brilliant acting and the cinematography. Not a crtique of the film, pardon me.

So, back to the crux of the matter, Yes I'm selfish, if selfish means doing those little things that are fodder to the spirit. I'm self centred, if looking for happiness within myself is being self centric. I'm terribly vocal, if saying what reverberates from deep within me is so loud that I can no longer quell the din.

I love myself and refuse to suffer pangs of guilt and apologise for it.

Again, the mask is off and who you see now is the me that was once afraid. When fear walks out and love walks in, its hard to play the lute and the lyre to the rythm of the conductor. This magniloquent capella refuses to cow down. I can't fight it anymore, it's stronger than I imagined and I'm swamped in the wake of it's tide.

I sincerely apologise for all the unnecessary misunderstanding caused by my own cowardice earlier. I'm bare naked and stripped off all pretence.

Masquerade no more... it's curtain call.

Chances are...

'Chances Are' is a movie I liked very much, starring Cybil Shepherd and Robert Downey Junior...

No, this post isn't a critique of the film.

It's about chances that life throws your way.

I've always heard that life gives you one chance and you better take that chance or else you will miss the bus and with this thinking, those that indeed miss the bus believe that the door is now shut firm and there is no point in trying to prise it open 'cos it won't budge and thereby lose hope and let go of looking in that direction, what's the point anyway.

This thinking doesn't work for me, not anymore. Not after I have experienced beauty in life and the myriad wonderful experiences that I have had.

Life gives you second, third, fourth and ultimately I think, many chances. It's your perspective that doesn't allow you to see them as chances or take a blessing that comes your way.

Indeed the chances you get repeatedly may not and often are not in the same shape or form that they came your way originally. It may very well be something that is completely disconnected from the  original. How do you know then which choices to make and which door to open or which window to allow the breeze waft through.

Fact is, that life will challenge you; you may never win a medal, and not all your battles will be victorious, am sharing a few thoughts that have helped me:

1. Keep the faith and believe that tomorrow will be better

2. Mourn the loss, cry, rave/ rant... whatever works and then get it out of your system

3. Keep your ego out and accept that you goofed up but don't beat yourself

4. Introspect but don't over think and no self pity please

5. Be brave and accept the loss as a learning curve

6. Surround yourself with positive people who will boost your spirit

7. Take a break, slow down and do something you love

8. Believe that the best is yet to come

9. Know that you are stronger than you think

10. Love life, it will guide you

11. Take risks, it won't kill you

When optimism is your mainstay, Chances are... your chances will be limitless.