Wednesday, May 8, 2013

The back end of a camel...


I was a terrible student I guess. Atleast it was made out to be that way. My memories of school are at best painful. I entered ST. Agnes School which was Mangalore's best all girls convent school, (apparently) in kindergarten. My parents had relocated from Bombay and were new to Mangalore, my cousins were studying in this school and were doing well and I had to study there too...

Getting admissions were not easy and through my uncle's good office, my parents managed to get me admission and I was always reminded of how fortunate I was. For years I would hear this oft repeated sentence that there are so many girls who will do anything to be educated in this school and only the 'chosen ones' will get through.

My mother says I was a good student and that kindergarten was a lark for me. Somehow that changed in school. I remember grade 1 and grade 2, somewhere during the end of grade 2, I had become another person. My school work was tardy, late, incomplete. I hated home work and would not do it most times, in fact always.

The third standard completed my metamorphosis into one of the most hated students of all time. Paradoxically, one of my all time favorite teachers, Sr. Veronica taught me in grade 3. The downslide was furious grade 4 onwards, I would only rebel. I was beaten continuously, punished regularly and insulted all the time, every time. In a while the teachers realised that my skin had grown rhino thick and no matter how much they tried to break me, I wouldn't change and conform. And they began ignoring me, except when they would PMS I think, because there would be days they would pick on me for something I didn't do, never have done, common knowledge that I will not do it no matter what and take my case.

And... I seemed unfazed, it was like I was emotionless since I could take all that they dished out to me, including physical and mental abuse. My marks in examinations were pathetic. I have failed every subject except English. Those were the days when they would detain you if you failed in the final exam and I had many classmates who had failed a class four times in a row even. But I was never detained nor repeated a class, maybe simply because the teacher couldn't bear the thought of having someone like me in her class for another year.

I was successful in my display of nonchalance but I yearned to be selected for school plays, tableau's, choir, dance and many of the activities that the school planned. It was never to be. My teachers made it a point to choose other girls and then tell me, "See, it's all because you do not do what you are supposed to. Girls like you will never do anything in life".

But... in grade 6, my luck changed (or so I thought), Sr. Florina our Music teacher selected me, ME!!!!!! to be part of the Christmas Tableau. I will borrow heavily from My Fair Lady and break into song here, " I could have danced all night, And still have begged for more. I could have spread my wings and done a thousand things I've never done before." I walked around in a daze for days. The euphoria was marvellous!!!

The rehearsals for the play had begun but I wasn't called yet, I kept wondering why, especially since Sr. Florina had told me that despite my being such a terrible person, she saw a ray of hope and her 'christian' duty prompted her to "give me a chance". Believe me, for those days, I did everything I could to prove her faith in me right. I would do my home work, shut up in class, not make faces at teachers, study hard, complete my pending impositions of the past 3 years... (stuff that got me in the dog house) and be a 'good' girl.

It was almost Christmas time and I had not been given my part yet... I began to worry... panic even but lacked the courage to go and ask Sr. Florina, what if my question ticked her off and she decides that I am not worth the part... it was an unbearable thought! A week to go and Sister calls me and I run with all my heart. I know that all the major parts have been taken but I was hoping I would be a shepherd at least, angel I could never be anyway neither the demeanor nor the mug justified the part.

Sr. Florina peers at me through her glasses and says, " Remember, you dont deserve this part, I have fought with Sr. Paulina (the Headmistress) and told her that you will be a good girl from now on and my reputation is at stake because I have stood my ground for you." I almost converted into catholicism and pledged my life to and the nunnery then and there.

She takes me to the stage and says, "I didn't call you till now because you are in the last scene of the nativity scene." Immediately I begin to glow, I will be one of the Three Kings methinks. I hear the wonderful words, " You are part of the Three Kings". Tears fill my eyes and before they can fall, I hear her say, "You are the back end of the camel".

When I began writing this post, I was choked up, very emotional. Felcita, my beloved classmate had just pinged me and we were reminiscing about school and I told her about my wonderful part in the play. As I kept writing, it was as though vale of tears would make an appearance... but now, I'm grinning like an idiot. It was funny, really... The frikkin camel was one girl who stood straight and the other girl had to place her arms on the camel's shoulder and bend over. Anddddd.... this contortion was covered in the dirt brown saree worn by the nuns. Of course I was the 'bend over' bit.

Hahahaha!!! And... I was given the task of making sure the back end swayed in rythmn.... Jeeeeeeez...!!!
The complete faith that was invested in me was awesome. I never outgrew it, it was the first time I was told I could do something, even be the back end of a camel and I haven't stopped swaying!!!

7 comments:

HBMM said...

It made me sad reading the first half of your blog and I was thinking to myself, 'why are nuns so cruel', but you had me smiling towards the end in true 'Mel' style. Who knew that your first part in a play was the 'back end of a camel' :-)

Unknown said...

A.Melita, brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. And you were right. Totally relatable. :)

Mel said...

Thank you girls!

It is a noble calling I hear, to be brides of Christ but in all the nuns I met, I remember only 3 who seemed kind.

Makes you realise women need sex I guess :P

And yeah I said it... loud and clear AND on a public forum...

Kanthi said...

Hey Melita....when I read the end of your blog.....I laughed till I leaked.....Oops!!

Mel said...

Yeah Kanthi... leaking is a good word!
Will write about the leaks...

Ashita Pai said...

Absolutely can relate to it,moreso since i studied in the same school ;)

Mel said...

I seem to have unlocked manyforgotten and painful memories for many, maybe its time to heal.