Thursday, July 12, 2012
Double meaning
Check this out- First day of the week and I have dragged myself with great reluctance to office, bleary eyed, swollen feet and all…
Rings the phone… the Chief Accountant is at the other end. Asks me if the Finance Director is in office.. I’d like to say ‘sod off’ but I probably will get my backside whipped for that, hence mumble a polite ‘I don’t know’.
I need to get my salary and have to bloody well be politically right, so I say, ‘So is it urgent?’ and he’s like ‘yeah, I need him to sign some documents’.
Not-so-polite-but-being-good-girl-me asks in somber tones, “oh… top urgent?” and the reply I get is “performance guarantee for a company that deals in erections”.
Like I said earlier I have with utmost and sincere reluctance brought myself to work and obviously not all faculties were working fine, without thinking I typed the same message to the Top Gun… your presence is wanted as we have to give a performance guarantee to the company that deals in erections.. and hit the send button faster than you can say Jack Robinson.
Ever had the feeling… this woozy confused state that you are content to lie in and the sudden jolt that shakes you off and brings you to reality in a heartbeat with the first thought in your head that goes ‘what-did-you-do-you-idiot’.
I cringed as I saw the message, was wondering what he who reads it will make of it. Living in a world and working in a place where even a mundane, ‘how was last night’ may have sexual connotations, I was embarrassed, hassled and felt intensely foolish.
I cannot forgive the English language for changing so much that I cannot even use words that we did with gay abandon as we were growing… or is it my head…? the grey cells are completely corrupt and I read puns in sentences that are absolutely not ‘pun-ny ‘. It used to have another word, ‘double meaning’ as children we used to refer to puns as double meaning. As an adult double is used only with whisky and gins… oops! I mean chins.
As always.. there’s many a slip between the cup and the lip and that which dribbles lands safely on the double chin….
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3 comments:
Well, your saving grace was that you were behind the computer and not face to face when making that statement. Thank God for small mercies. Unfortunately, I was not so lucky. I was caught in a similar situation, except this was an in person meeting. We were animatedly discussing better communication strategies and it was my turn to speak and out comes my suggestion including the words 'better mail penetration', in that order. OMG! No sooner had I said it, I realized what it sounded like to the listener. I was beyond embarassed and I could not escape. As soon as the meeting was over, I made a hasty exit.
I believe that one shouldn't drink and blog for God knows what the unihibited me will burp... I mean blurt... Hic!
But seriously, 'better mail penetration'... Jeez, now that's classic. I can be foot in the mouth and I can bloody well be deliberate, there's enough single malt in the system to promise you that I will use this phrase... Deliberately! And thanks... Punner in crime! I don't feel alone...
Ah! My fellow 'punner in crime', if only I could attribute that gaffe to the 'sweet red' I indulge in occassionally. Unfortunately (or fortunately), there was none in the system at the time. Scares me to think what I would have burped out if I had. Happy blogging!
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