Why are some relationships so fraught with pain and agony... why is it that sometimes love just ain't enough. Why are we cynical about most things, including the comfort of relationships and yet desperate to keep them...
In a world of constant uncertainities, the steadying influence of a relationship keeps us rooted... we're caught up in this super sonic pace of getting the best of everything, of life, a model family, a great job, uber cool friends... the designer homes, cars, gadgets.. holidays... the more exotic the destination.. the higher our market value...
At some point in life, the emptiness of the so called successes we have so hankered after stares us back in the face far harder than we do when we see Pamela Anderson. We offer the least respect to relationships and yet when it's gone... we fight to keep it. To what lengths then, should we go to preserve something thats dying and on its way out. Some people seem to have this uncanny knack of saying goodbye and ending things and moving on in life.. when do you know that it's time to let things be and carry on... How long should one hold on to a painful and festering relationship...
"In a deteriorating love affair, you maybe deeply torn between the choice of holding on or letting go. If you remain indecisive, the internal conflict can depress you and even make you ill. You should make a quick determination whether to hold on by fighting or let go by retreating. Holding on unsuccessfully is like clenching your fist tighter and tighter until your knuckles turn white. Letting go is like opening your fist. It feels better, but your hand is empty." - Paul Lowney;
Isn't it the most frustrating bit of advice you have come across... What you need to hear is some definitive answer or firm guidance, cut the crap and tell me what to do... When you have been through a roller coaster of emotion figuring out should I hang on... should I let go... the last thing you need to hear about is another confused soul adding on to your angst.
But there is some good sense in the above. The best of what it says... 'the internal conflict can depress you and even make you ill'... Let go... let it go.... Take a deep breath and let it go... So easy to say.. I know. But I guess winners are those who know that they have touched the nadir and make a conscious effort to shrug it off and move on and not let their lives be colored by the cancer of a dying and painful relationship.
In all of our lives there would be though, an unbidden flash of memory that may come at the most unexpected and awkward of times... a sudden flash that may cross the brain and sear the heart..., 'should I have worked harder at keeping it...'
And yeah... you can hit me now... :D
2 comments:
Even in a hard core relationship there are two individuals, two egos, to separate entities and two egos will never unite they may get real close to each other and may act similar and we feel the chemistry. Change is inevitable as time passes by even though the people involved remains the same there is a considerable change in the behavior as we are a dynamic being some things we used to love may not seem so enjoyable and we are soooo tied to the past and the feeling and thought that we miss the present and want the same feeling we had at some point of time. This creates stress and the "good old" feeling will be gone....!!
Just as time passes and changes, so do people, that's a fact of life. Change is the only constant... we know that and expect it. To change enough to not be able to bear the sight of or despise someone you have loved as your own... that I cannot comprehend... nor want to, I suspect :)
Post a Comment