I missed the bus...

I missed the bus...

Like candy bars stacked on a shelf
The gleaming buses neatly arranged
Waiting with mute impatience
Ready to flag off to predestined shores

I strolled with seeming nonchalance
Without looking to appear askance
No plan or design or providence is mine
Find myself climbing a bus that I know not goes where

She fills up in stages
Some zip in with no baggage
Others carry their load of burden
Then there are those who float aimless

As with the lethargic and slow
Content to be, exist, to live
No plan in place, nor ready for the race
Unarmed and naive, ambling along... there went me

That was the bus that did catch I
Sandy shores and verdant green
Stark desert and gleaming steel
The bus chugged hiccuping alone

Sometimes I felt the compass was in me
Other times I knew that the directions were askew
But now I know crystal clear
Truth it is... I missed the bus

Are you a Christian or a Prostitute...

One of the funniest questions I was asked was whether I am a Christian or a Prostitute, maybe about 28 years ago and I haven't forgotten it, it still makes me chuckle! And of course Anjali keeps refreshing my memory...

One of my schoolmates had asked me this in all innocence and a helluva lot of ignorance I guess. What she meant was, am I a Catholic or a Protestant. To most people it doesn't matter but we from Mangalore have to know which religion one belongs to and which bloodline also, so it's a non-offensive question. Mangalore has the Catholic community as a major among the Christians, and they are known as ‘Romans’ (because they belong to the Roman Catholic Church) and Protestants are known as ‘Germans’ (because the Protestant church in Mangalore was set up by the German missionaries from Basel, Switzerland). The Catholic and Protestant churches never acknowledged each other except in derision and I suppose this was a norm followed by the faithful of either church.

It's only when the VHP, RSS and Bajrang Dal began persecuting all Christians in Mangalore equally, (poor things didn't distinguish the prostitute from the christian, have to hand it to them, they are fair, no discrimination there) that it dawned on the two churches that they are better off together than alone.

I hear that even St. Agnes, my Alma Mater (I don’t have the luxury of a smiley here, if I did it would be a sick smiley!) now admits Protestant students into catechism classes. When I was in school, I was sent for Moral Science classes because I wasn't Catholic and Thank GOD for that, I hear catechism is torture.

It's funny how perceptions and attitudes change, even those built with great care over years. Disdain and discrimination undergo a dramatic change when a threat is posed to the existence of its being. How quickly self-preservation sets in, even if it means consorting with the enemy.

At least now I guess, no one will be asked in Mangalore whether they are Christian or Prostitute… and funnily enough we have the Bajrang Dal to thank for that!!!

Quote hanger...

I read this quote this morning and it has been playing in my head ever since, "There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened." Thought I should look it up on Google search, and discovered that it's a quote by Mary Kay Ash, an American business woman.

Although this post originally began about this quote,(about me belonging to which type and all...) I came across several other interesting ones by Mary Kay Ash and have now lost my train of thought, just posting a few that I really like:

Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, 'Make me feel important.' Never forget this message when working with people.

Everyone wants to be appreciated, so if you appreciate someone, don't keep it a secret.

Those who are blessed with the most talent don't necessarily outperform everyone else. It's the people with follow-through who excel.

A good goal is like a strenuous exercise - it makes you stretch.

People are definitely a company's greatest asset. It doesn't make any difference whether the product is cars or cosmetics. A company is only as good as the people it keeps.

PMS... the interpreter of all maladies...

If you asked my mum what PMS means, she probably will say it means, Personal Mail Service or something similar (this is based purely on assumption and in the faith that she doesn't read my blog :D) 'cos I have never heard her use the word to describe her moods, the weather, the political situation or the economy, unlike us today who use it as a comprehensive blanket for all problems and in all situations.

Alder keeps using the word with alarming frequency to describe all of us, especially when he is at the receiving end. It has somehow become acceptable that any deviation from the 'normal' is a direct consequence of PMS. It cannot be that women today are afflicted by this particular blight and our mothers and their mothers were not.

So what do you think they took refuge under or what envelope did they hide in...

Whoever says loving is easy needs to be shot... preferably where the sun don't shine

All we hear and read and is told to us, is that loving is the easiest thing in the world and that it should come naturally since it is the most exalted of all emotion and that it makes us pure, better than we aspire to be and is a gift in itself.

Ah no... I don't think it's as simple as that (the first person to raise her very beautiful eyebrows at this post will be Anjali for sure, I've been questioned after the last post about my harping on the theme of love). Anja... you know, you and me are damn cynical about most things, love included... yet I believe that deep rooted in this cynicism is an unshakable faith and hope and trust in love and now Shut Up and let me get on with this.

Yeah... is loving easy? Is it really as simple as that... in the first throes of courtship and love, it comes easily enough, when you hold your new born in your arms and as they grow into toddler's... it's a lark... The real test is when we are 'old' in a relationship and when the kids are in their teens and growing. The similar analogy can be used in any budding relationship, at work, with friends and pets even.
When it's new, it's magical!

All those poets and writers who spoke of love being easy, obviously spoke of early days... either they stopped writing as it got older or began writing ode's to inanimate objects, or they kept falling in love over and over again, maybe with different people or maybe with the same person.

That, I think is the secret, to fall in love repeatedly, with our partners, friends and children and all of those that we have loved. Falling in love is seeing things in new light, a new perspective and with fresh eyes, like dew drops in the early morning breeze as they capture the first ray's of the rising sun in their little crystal droplets which sparkle like tiny diamonds. That feeling of warmth and unbridled joy is intoxicating and those who have experienced this mania will always remain devoted to seeking it... This love negates every flaw, overrides all handicaps and overcomes all strife, infusing new life into the relationship, splashing it with new color and embellishing it with fresh flavor.

So fall in love... 'cos every time we fall, we rise a little bit above from the ordinary, ordain ourselves with magic dust and that is real exaltation in it's truest form...

Investments...

In finance, investment is putting money into something with the expectation of gain, usually over a longer term. This may or may not be backed by research and analysis. Most or all forms of investment involve some form of risk.

All of us make investments, and I'm not talking money here. As children we invest in the dreams our parents have for us, when we find a partner we invest our future in them for being the ones who will be our anchor while being our wings and as parents we invest in our children's future.

All of these investments are of faith, hope and love. While these are the broad classifications of our relationships, there are very many other vital alliances and affinities that we develop and cherish, with people we know and even with complete strangers, some who we do not see even.

When I drive, for example I am investing my faith in the person driving ahead of me, behind and alongside and in all the people on the road, cos' one accident means road blocks/ delays and full bladders (been there, done that!)

Every day and in a myriad ways, we invest either our faith or our hope our love... unmindful of the risk... and we hope that it's the ones we love who will ensure that it is mitigated and nullified.

The Holy Bible, in 1 Corinthians, chapter 13, verse 13 says, "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love".

Love grows with faith and trust...

Just as I am... without a plea...

Is the title of a hymn.

Is also a topic on which loads of poems, odes and songs have been written and sung. This terrible need to be loved, just the way you are, faults and all, is a universal hunger. Love which isn't only of the romantic variety, be it filial or in friendships, every one of us echoes this sentiment... the yearning to be allowed to be what we are and be loved despite.

As many people as there are and as many opinions that they may evince, to me this is the toughest thing to do and is really the true test of love. Can you love without being judgemental. Be it with your parents, partners, children, friends and the many relationships we have, can we really love them without trying to mould them, modify them, mend and bend them into being what we want them to be.

Each of us has our own set criteria of what is acceptable and correct and of that which is not. Our minds are made up and anything or anyone who doesn't fit into these little squares needs to be transformed into little clones of ourselves, to be mindful of and obedient of our rules. We constantly endeavor to change the people around us while claiming undying love for them.

And that is the greatest of all fallacies...

Understand this
As I comprehend that being you is essential to you
To breathe... to grow... to live...
I will step back
Fly away into a realm where you celebrate your life
We will meet... in those in-between spaces...
When you come to me
As I surely know you will, this love will draw you
Come as you... the one who is free...
Just as I am... without a plea

( Mother- if you ever read this... please know that I'm not being blasphemous)